Occasionally I talk to my close friends while I'm on the toilet. Some people may refer to this as being rude but I call it being comfortable; however it would be quite disrespectful to perform such an act with someone who doesn't know me to a certain level. HOLD YOUR THOUHTS … before I get any sour looks, unfathomable judgments, and rotten tomatoes thrown at me, I would quickly like to mention that this isn't a one way thing!!!
... Moving on to the real story. Ehm (clears throat) : So today I called my girl while excreting some urine out of my system. Unfortunately for me the individual on the other end didn't pick up the phone until I had finished my business and was ready to flush. Now I know you are wondering, "what was so unfortunate about this moment?" but please be patient so that I can properly finish this story ... So as the voice on the other end greeted me, my hand reached for the handle (I had to google "Parts Of the Toilet" to figure out what this was called ... its kinda sad right, but its not often that I talk about the "handle"). At this moment a few petrifying things happened, a man said "hello"; I gassed for air ... too late I had already pushed down the handle; I quickly put him on mute; he said my name (DAM YOU CALLER ID); I was forced to un-mute the phone while closing the toilet and standing on top of it so that he couldn't hear the noise; I asked for her; the noise of the water in the toilet bowl continued to expose me for 5 more seconds; SILENCE; Him: "she's not in right now"; Me (while stuttering): Okay, cool, tell her I called; Him: Will do ... giggles; SILENCE ... I'm guessing he hang up?..
... I can't help but feel that I would have felt a lot less embarrassed if I was doing the #2 instead (then he wouldn't have heard the toilet flush).
Story of my life.
-Charlie Rain.
